An Assumption Shattered

What if I told you God's calling is not the same as God's timing?

Would you believe me? 

Would you sigh in relief? 

Would you ignore the assumption?

Last year in May I distinctly witnessed the holy spirit move my husband and myself at the same time. During a sermon. Yes. We both walked out speechless. Then the statement,

 "You first." 

We could hear the wind banging on the windows; the sun throwing daggers in our direction.

Our hearts sat pounding within our chests, as our tongues were preoccupied in an epic war with our brains to speak the word held prisoner in our mouths - adoption.

That was a year ago. 

A year and a half to be precise.

Yet, here we are while that calling that convicted both of us has yet to become reality.

We tried - trust me we did.

Maybe a little too hard? 

                                 Maybe.

Maybe I believed a little too much. 

                                                   Sure. 

Maybe I grasped at the first thing, then the next that jumped our way. Because surely...

Surely God wouldn't call us to something and not immediately provide a way... right? 

However, we find ourselves in a culture where everything is so immediate, where we expect quick responses to our questions, or our anxiety climbs when we have to wait.  

Wait for traffic, wait for a friend to text back, wait for the response on if we are promoted, received the job offer, or were placed with a child.

Waiting nearly kills us in this microwavable and pressure cooker society. 

When "waiting" intrudes upon "immediately" our world suddenly is discombobulated. Embracing the newness of the delay brings up untouched emotions - fear, doubt, confusion. 

So the Spirit steps in to remind us that the LORD God declared, 

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,

As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts."

In the midst of that we find that this promise exposes our hearts to God's affirmation in which we find hope. Hope that drives out fear for it is derived from love of a father.  Now this love, oh this love, echoes in the space that this "love is patient".  Our parched souls drink in the truth, that our love for our God requires trust in his divine plan and patience on our part.

Now I sit here, 18 months later with a baby girl - from my womb - cuddled up on her pink newborn lounger, wrapped in a sea of mint blankets. Two puppies lovingly on either side of the pink pillow, and I am at peace knowing that God's timing and his calling are not the same.  So we will wait patiently with excitement in our hearts for the day we will call a child ours and bring him or her home. We pray for the day God's calling and timing will align in which we will remove the label orphan and replace it with a loving title - one that proclaims you are family.